From Surviving to Thriving: Everyday Tools for Trauma Recovery
Emotional Health is not just what you need, it is what we all deserve.
My intention is to provide you with some information on trauma and how to manage and heal and live with your experiences. While it’s a big subject, I’m sharing some information so even if you do not feel you have had traumatic experiences, you will have some basic tools for life management.
Like many of you, I too have experienced trauma. My life has had many joyful moments, but it has also had very difficult and painful experiences as well. I have experienced emotionally traumatizing experiences in my own life and also through the experiences of many of my clients. As a therapist, sometimes it has been as a witness to the pain and suffering one has had and may continue to endure.
Some Different Types of Trauma
(Some of this information has been drawn from Paul Conti’s book, Trauma: The Invisible Epidemic.)
Acute Trauma – Trauma resulting from a single, specific event.
Examples: a car accident, a physical assault, rape, or witnessing a crime.
Chronic Trauma – Trauma caused by prolonged or repeated exposure to harmful situations.
Examples: domestic violence, childhood abuse, systemic racism.
Vicarious Trauma – The internalization of another person’s suffering.
This is especially common among mental health professionals, frontline workers, police officers, nurses, and other healthcare providers.
Post-Trauma Syndromes – The long-term impact that may follow any of the above types of trauma.
Most commonly known as PTSD, these syndromes can negatively affect a person’s quality of life long after the traumatic event.
Shame often accompanies trauma.
When I am doing an initial assessment for my clients, shame is often present. We blame ourselves and shame disconnects us from the people in our lives. This shame and pain can show up as anger. Supporting those who suffer from trauma and shame need our support and our compassion and thus, can help diffuse the anger and the shame. Some might say this shame is fear around suffering. So ask yourself, are you afraid to suffer? None of us wants to feel pain, but avoiding pain creates all kinds of other suffering, such as addictions. Shame keeps us in the cycle.
Starting with self-compassion is critical and there are lots of really good research in this area. Having gratitude for even just being here. Gratitude for who is in our lives. Building a community of support. That is why AA has been around for so long. They knew the importance of community when you suffer from shame and loss.
So, how do we address this?
Self-talk. Often an approach used in CBT regarding how we look at how we are talking to ourselves and then change it to more helpful ways of thinking.
Improve our self-care. Ask yourself. What do you deserve in your life? What support do you need? Take the time to really think about what you can do differently to support you.
Reduce unhealthy or risky behaviours. If you are engaging in risk-taking behaviours like increased drug or alcohol use, porn, social media, or overeating, review what is going on for you.
Sleep. Relaxation techniques like progressive muscle relaxation, massage, reiki, acupuncture, or any type of treatment that helps improve your sleep.
Improve your mood. Be active, exercise, dance, hike, walk, whatever you can do. Movement is so important. Also learning new things, like taking up a musical instrument, learning a language or course. Something where you can see progress and feel good about your achievement.
Manage your stress. We all experience stress, but managing it is ongoing practice. Ask yourself, “What are you doing to reduce your stress?” Manage your input by a digital detox. Surround yourself with more joy and people who you love and love you back!
Know what your triggers are. I often do an exercise with my clients about what triggers them. What is their initial thought when they are triggered? How do they experience it in their body and their emotions? And finally, what do they do or how do they behave when triggered. It is a very good exercise to do with your family, spouse, or kids.
Seek help. Finally, find someone who can help. Ask your therapist if he/she/they have experience in trauma. Are they trauma-informed? If you do meet them, do they look you in the eye? Do they remember you from your last session? Are they compassionate and caring?
“A healthier me makes a healthier we, and a healthier we goes a long way to encouraging a healthier you”. —Paul Conti, MD
No one escapes pain, it is part of the human story. We have heartbreak, grief, loss, and pain. If we do not deal with our pain our trauma will negatively impact our life today and our life tomorrow. These painful experiences do not define us, but in order to heal we have to feel. You want to learn, you want to grow and then you want to serve.
This can be tough work, and finding the right someone who can support you on this journey of healing is important.
Take your pain and make it your medicine.
“The best therapists teach you about yourself, teach you to learn and grow from your pain, and teach you to treat yourself and then serve others”. —Arthur C. Brooks
Here are some links to good books that might provide you some support and insight:
About the Author
Lynn Hiscoe is the CEO and Founder of Empoweredlives and Kootenay Women in Business. She published the first edition of Kootenay Women Magazine last fall.
She has an extensive background in understanding mental health and the workplace. She has been a national manager for more than 20 years serving professionals and organizations in psychological, social, and emotional well-being and workplace conditions, cultures, and policies.
Beyond the workplace, Lynn is also a psychotherapist with a private practice specializing in women and emotional health. She is registered with the BC Association of Clinical Counsellors and the College of Social Workers and the Canadian Association of Cognitive Behavioral Therapists.